Escape The Past
by Rasiaa
Summary: There's a ghost haunting Will and Nico's relationship, and it takes Will six and a half years to see it. By the time he does, everything is in pieces and Nico can no longer save himself from the choking grip of a desolate spirit. It's up to Will to get him out, however much he doesn't want to. There's too much pain in the past. /For Julia


_Merry Christmas, to those who celebrate it. The prompt on this one was "New Year's Kiss" but leave it to me to turn it into a twisted monster, right? Enjoy._

* * *

"There's a circus coming to town."

I look up. Cecil is leaning over a newspaper on the kitchen table, a contemplative look on his face. He glances up at me, and grins. "Sounds cool, right?" he says, standing.

"What does?" Lou Ellen interrupts, emerging from the next room over, chewing on a snickers bar. She leans over Cecil's shoulder, and a look of disgust passes over her face. "A circus? Really, Cecil? Those are gross things."

"Gross?" he repeats, sounding scandalized. I sigh, returning to my homework as I take another bite of toast. "Circuses are incredible things of mystical wonder."

Lou shakes her head, throwing her hands up and making her way to the fridge. "No. There are clowns there and the makeup is horrendous."

Cecil makes a noise of despair in the back of his throat and turns to me. "Will? Back me up, will you?" he cries, running over to me and throwing his arms around my neck. I grunt and drop my toast on my homework.

Annoyed, I shove him off and pick up my toast. There's a mark of butter on my paper. I glare at him. "Just for this," I say angrily, gesturing to the butter, "I'm siding with Lou."

He makes an exaggerated cry and drops into the chair next to me. I roll my eyes and make an attempt to salvage my work with a napkin. "Thank you, Will," Lou says, clearing my paper with a wave of her hand. I grin up at her and finish off my breakfast and my homework on the bone structure of a human hand.

"I don't know why you even bother with going medical school," Cecil moans, slamming his head on the back of the chair and covering his eyes with his arm. "You were the best medic Camp Half-Blood has seen in centuries. You could pass that test while dying of the black plague."

Quietly flattered, I huff and poke him harshly in the side. "Mortals don't take my heritage as a good excuse for not going to school," I remind him, and he just groans again.

"Speaking of," Lou says, and I glance at her. She points at the clock ticking away on the wall. "You're late for class."

"Shit!" I gather my things quickly and stuff them in my backpack, then bolt for the door, pulling my jacket from the back of the chair as I go. When I make it to the door, I reach up for my keys, normally hanging on the hook between the door and the window, and feel my heart stop when they're not there. "My keys!" I yell, dropping my bag and rushing back into the kitchen, where Cecil and Lou are still sitting. "Where are my~"

I break off as Cecil dangles my keys on his index finger. "You dirty thief," I snarl, and he laughs loudly.

"Agree to go to the circus and you'll get your keys back, William," he says gleefully, eyes dancing and wild.

I grit my teeth and huff, "Fine," to which Cecil tosses my keys over.

"You won't regret it," he calls, as I run back to the door, scoop up my bag, and run outside to my car and Lou starts cussing him out.

…

"How's school, Will?" Mom asks me, just to break the silence.

"Easy," I reply, knowing it'll piss her off, to be reminded of her tryst with Apollo. Sure enough, her jaw tightens, and she looks back down at her plate, digging into her chicken harshly. I roll my eyes and continue to push the food around, not particularly hungry for the food my stepfather prepared. I don't trust that he didn't poison it.

He and my mom married about three years ago, after six years of dating and two kids. My half brothers are eight and six years old, now, and it creates a great divide in the family. I'm nearly twenty-five, now, almost out of collage, the child of my mom's slutty teenage years. It's not that my mom hates me, or loves me any less, it's just that I don't get along with my stepfather, and since she married him, she's starting to resent me and her past, and so I distance myself by staying out of their lives as much as I can.

"Will?" My youngest stepbrother, Adam, speaks up, and I look up at him immediately from across the table. He makes a face at being pinned so suddenly by my icy gaze, and I make an effort to soften my face, so that he sees his older brother and not the half-blood warrior I am. It works. He grins at me, excited, and tells me about a school project he just presented, about what he wanted to be when he grows up, about how he said he wanted to be a doctor just like me. "Ms. G was very happy with my coloring," he says, pulling the paper out from under the table to show me.

My heart warms, and I take the paper. "You should be an artist instead," I say, and he grins brilliantly.

"I'd rather save people like you do. Artists aren't heroes," he says, and I huff out a laugh, trying not to appear too affected.

"Well, thank you, Adam," I tell him, handing the paper back. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my mother's happy face and my resentment builds. I look back down at my plate and wish that I were back home with Cecil and Lou Ellen. At least they accept me for who I am.

My stepfather stands up, and the boys glance at him. "Simon, what do you say about getting the dishes cleared, and Adam, can you get Scrabble from the closet?" he says it like a suggestion, but it's clear the boys know it's not, as they bolt to do as they were asked immediately. I grit my teeth.

"Do you like Scrabble, Will?" my stepfather asks, and I roll my eyes.

"I'm dyslexic, as you know, Ben," I huff, leaning my elbow on the table and resting my chin in my hand as Adam sets up the board.

"Then I guess you wouldn't like to play," Ben suggests, and I glare at him while he glares at Adam, who, under the pressure of his dad, doesn't give me any pieces.

I wave it off, and Adam relaxes slightly. I stand up. My mom stands, too, while the Ben watches me with disinterest and the boys look at me sadly. "I'd better leave anyway," I say, and step away from the table to make my way to the door. I grab my jacket from the coat hanger and pull it on, plucking my keys and wallet from the bowl next to the door.

"Must you go?" Mom asks, and I shrug. I reach for the door and pull it open, stepping outside. I close the door behind me without answering.

…

It occurs to me to grab milk on the way back to the apartment Cecil, Lou, and I share, as we ran out yesterday and neither of them ever do the shopping.

I flick on my blinker and pull into the grocery store parking lot, trying to find a spot in the darkening lot. I eventually locate one and pull into it, uncaring that the car isn't straight or that it's a handicap spot. I lock the car after stepping out and rush up to the front door.

It's starting to snow.

I cross the street and go to enter the building, and collide with someone on my way in.

"I'm sorry, I~" I stop speaking instantly as the man looks up, and our eyes meet. He sucks in a sharp breath and shakes his head.

"It's fine," he says, sounding winded, and ducks around me.

Heart racing, I turn, but of course the entrance to the store is under a cover to protect the entrance from snow and rain. Shadows from the lights provide many places for him to run. And run he did. He always does.

I let Nico di Angelo slip through my fingers again.

…

Lou Ellen was never a woman to take any shit. Not at Camp, and certainly not now. She slaps Cecil around all the time, since the Son of Hermes is a master of bullshit. It's not often that she starts slapping me around, though.

However, that's exactly what she does when I tell her and Cecil about my little incident at the grocery store.

She slaps me hard across the face, and Cecil looks haunted, not coming to help me. My head snaps to the side and my hair falls into my eyes. I glare at her, rubbing the spot, and demand, "What the hell, Lou?"

"How could you let him go, again?" she screams instead of answering, and all of my steam runs out. I drop my hand and run my fingers through my hair as I lean back against the couch.

I shake my head. "I don't know. I don't know."

I close my eyes as the tears start to fall. Lou makes a strangled noise in her throat and sits next to me so that our thighs are touching, and pulls my head close to rest on her shoulder while she wraps her other arm around me. That does it for me, and all the tears that I've held in for six, almost seven years come rushing out as I sob onto her shoulder.

I finally allow myself to grieve for Nico di Angelo.

"I just can't believe he's come back to New York after all this time," Cecil mumbles, and it's distant in my ears. I can't quite make out the words, but I get the meaning. I cling to Lou and shake my head, crying harder.

…

Lou sent me to bed a long time ago, but sleep evades me. I can't help but think of how Nico had looked this evening, in comparison to how he had looked as a bold, self-hating, fading fourteen year old. He looked stronger. Tired, but certainly not as bad as it had been. He was taller; though not by much, and not anywhere near as tall as I am. His hair was longer, just as dark.

He looked exactly as I always imagined he would, as he grew up.

And the image haunts me as I toss and turn in my bed.

…

"I still can't believe how easy it was to get you to come with me to this circus," Cecil says, jumping around excitedly, looking at the big top with the same look a five year old would get in a candy store. I sigh and Lou grumbles her displeasure under her breath.

The show starts in an hour, but there's a small carnival surrounding it that Cecil had wanted to enjoy before seeing the show. So here we are.

"Cotton candy!" Cecil yelps, taking off through the crowd to some unseen cotton candy stall. Lou stares after him, looking annoyed.

"Remind me again why I'm friends with him?" she asks me, trudging through the snow on the ground while she goes in the opposite direction of Cecil.

"No idea," I answer primly, and she snickers. Then she screams.

People turn to stare at her, eyes wide, but I just wave them away, pulling her close to my side and away from the clown making animal balloons for children. I tug her to a side tent, one that advertises the opportunity to act like one of their performers- a knife thrower. "Why don't you show these people how it's done?" I whisper in her ear, and she looks up at me, a mischievous glint overcoming the fear in her brown eyes.

"Challenge accepted," she whispers back, and hands the lady manning the booth some money and receiving five throwing knives in return. Lou flips the knife in her hand, catches it on the edge of the blade, and tosses it in one smooth motion. It lands heavily in the center of the target, vibrating with the force of her throw, and so I grin and turn away as the people around her burst into applause.

I take a moment to observe my surroundings, taking in the many food booths and small souvenir shops that are scattered between rides and sideshows. The entire festival is much too cheery for what I normally associate with circuses, but then again, I've never been to one before and I rewatch _American Horror Story_ in my free time.

I like it anyway. I like the red and gold color scheme, the bouncy workers and colorful arrangement of costumes. As the people behind me start cheering again, I step away from the knife throwing and stand in a fairly short line for candy apples.

There's a door next to the stand that swings open, and a figure steps out into the sunlight. I try to read the words on the door, but before I can decode the cryptic puzzle that is the English language, the figure catches my eye again.

A fairly short man, he's obviously a main performer at the circus, given his uniform. It's made from very fine fabrics and it much more dramatic in its attractiveness. The man moves quickly to a young woman busy entertaining a small crowd of people with her flexibility, and pulls her aside. He starts talking to her in low, harsh tones that I can't make out, and then drags her by the ear to the door. Just before they vanish into the big tent, I catch sight of his face and my heart stops in my chest as my lungs stop working.

That explains why Nico di Angelo came back to New York. He became a member of a traveling circus.

The very thought startles a laugh out of me, and the woman glances over just as the door swings shut. Our eyes meet and she looks like she just watched a murder take place before her very eyes. I let my eyes fall closed for a second and move up in the line to get my candy apple.

Lou bounces up behind me and orders two apples for me, and I give her an annoyed look over my shoulder as I hand over double the money I had intended to give this particular stall. "What?" she says, innocence lacing her tone, and I snort.

She takes the apples from the man and hands me mine, looping her arm with mine and pulling me away. "I found Cecil, and he had his face painted to match the clown's," she informs me, and I grin.

"Where?" I question, and she points.

Cecil is taking a picture with the clown.

"Traitor!" I yell, and he glances over and grins devilishly. The flash goes off and Cecil flounces over to us, shoving the picture under Lou's nose. She shrieks and ducks away, much to Cecil's delight. He chances after her, cackling madly, while I stand and watch them run in circles, laughing as Lou starts screaming all kinds of profanity at Cecil.

…

The crowds settle into an expectant silence as soon as the lights flicker out. Cecil lets out a low hum of excitement and Lou elbows him hard in the ribs. I snicker quietly and train my eyes on the dusty ring where torches light the footprints left in the dirt. There's movement behind them, and then a male figure emerges with a lowered top hat and swinging cane. The crowd bursts into applause.

"Are you ready for a show?" he asks, voice low, hard to hear. The crowd quiets. "Are you ready for a show?" he repeats, screaming, spreading his arms out wide and tearing his top hat off his head. My heart stops, but I know I should've expected it.

Nico is the ringleader.

While I'm having a minor heart attack, the crowd goes wild and Cecil and Lou freeze in their seats. "Will?" Lou whispers, but I hush her quietly and train my eyes on Nico.

"Sounds like you are. That's good, good- very good. Our performers have gotten bored with crowds that aren't enthusiastic," he says, and the people start their screaming and cheering again. The words sound odd to my ears- why wouldn't people be happy to see a circus? He starts laughing, and girls emerge from the sidelines to spread themselves out amongst the crowd to encourage their participation. Others lift Nico onto their shoulders and he waves and smiles in a way that I never thought he ever would. The stage- if one could really call it that- lights up in a myriad of colors while a single spotlight shines on Nico. "I hope you are ready- really, and truly- for the most unforgettable, enjoyable show of your lives."

And with that, the whole tent is swathed in darkness, and I can hardly make out the swiftly moving figures of Nico and his performers in the ring. Nico himself doesn't leave the stage, but I can hear him faintly calling orders under the chatter of the crowd.

"Are you going to be okay to watch this?" Cecil checks, and I glance over. A rush of fondness for my old friend fills me, and I smile faintly at him.

"I'll be fine, I'm sure," I assure, and while he doesn't look convinced, he turns back to facing the ring.

"You're such a liar," Lou sighs, and leans her head on my shoulder, twining our fingers together. I squeeze her hand and she squeezes back, and the tent illuminates once more, this time in a faint gold shade that does wonders for the sequins on the costumes of the people on the stage.

The circus, for a short while, seems like a normal one- an act with elephants, people walking on large bouncy balls, trapeze artists- but it starts getting a little weird.

Nico grins at the crowd as the women above him flip mid air and switch bars. The audience gasps in awe and cheers them on, but my eyes narrow. There's something a bit off about the way they go through the motions. They seem robotic. They turn on the bars and do some more flips, spinning and twisting and then-

And then they fall.

Nico doesn't seem alarmed in the least. He watches with a detached sort of fascination, as though he's seen it a thousand times but it never gets old. The people, however, go insane, crying out and yelling, screaming for Nico to do something- but he does nothing. The two women hit the ground and the blood splatters on Nico's face like a gory scene from a horror show. Children start crying and Lou stands up on her seat and leans forward to grab the wall separating us from the ring. Cecil sits, stock-still and petrified, in his chair, eyes wide.

The ringleader stands, and with a flick of his wrist, his cane whacks the wall and the crowd silences. They're stunned with fear.

The young woman who caught my eyes earlier enters the ring. "Nico," she purrs, reaching for him. He draws back with a hiss, and she withdraws. "You weren't supposed to let them fall yet, silly," she scolds, and he obviously rolls his eyes. He turns away from her and starts swinging his cane the way he did when he first emerged.

This whole scene is practiced, too.

My heart starts beating faster in my chest and my breath seems to escape me.

"It's not my fault they didn't know what they were doing, Bebe," he says, stopping in front of the corpses. He curls his lips and turns up his nose, stepping through the blood to sit on a pedestal on the edge of the ring. "They knew the risks of performing without a net," he finishes, crossing one leg over the other and settling his cane across his lap.

Although they seem to be ignoring their captive audience, the crowd is completely riveted, gazes locked on their every move. Lou leans more heavily on the wall and bites her lip hard enough to draw blood. I squeeze her hand but she's unresponsive.

The woman- now entitled Bebe- narrows her eyes at Nico. She leans forward and puts her hands on the ground, using small, elegant flips to move towards him. He watches with a bored expression, but the crowd collectively draws a breath as she leans over him. "It's your fault they're dead," she tells him. He smirks.

His image flickers, and she draws back, teeth bared, as he vanishes beneath her hold to reappear on the other side of the ring. Shadows cling to his shoes, but I'm more than certain I'm the only one to notice. I'm the only one here who can easily recognize shadow traveling when I see it, since Nico is the only one in the world that I know of who can complete the act. I just can't believe he's using the skill in a horror circus.

The lights start breaking, flickering, fading, and the crowd starts screaming again. Many get up from their seats and start running toward the exits, but I can hear the clanging of doors behind me as I keep my gaze on the ring. Other performers appear from the sidelines, and their once-beautiful uniforms are coated in blood and dust, and the crowd reacts with outrage.

Nico swings around and bangs hard on the wall. "Silence!" he screeches, and the people fall silent, not even a breath being drawn to break the quiet. He grins at them, and blood drips down his chin, and a young girl starts to cry. My heart breaks for her.

"I don't care that they're dead," he says, and the woman snarls.

The other performers laugh in delight, and Nico turns slowly back around. The woman's eyes grow wide and she backs up, shaking her head and beginning to cry. The performers surround her and when they break their wall, she's a bloody corpse on the floor.

"Now, then," Nico says, and faces the crowd. They stare back, quiet. "Return to your seats, everyone. Can we just ignore this little interruption? Pretty please?"

The crowd shuffles back into place and remains silent.

The lights flash, and this time they're a dusty red instead of gold, and someone chokes in the back of the tent. The spotlight returns to Nico and he takes a bow. No one moves. He clicks his tongue in annoyance, as he stands upright. "I thought you lot were energetic? Didn't I tell you my performers tire of silent crowds?"

I close my eyes, and wince when someone screams. When I open them again, more blood is splattered across the wall and the dirt ground, and Lou has splatters of it streaked across her face. Nico is lowering a bucket and grinning. "That's from the last show," he tells us conversationally, and Lou drops back into her seat, looking distraught and defeated. "It was the dancers who fell from their hoops, last time," Nico continues, kicking the bucket away. "They didn't get a grip on the chains properly and got burned, and in their shock, they let go. That was their mistake."

Nico stares distantly at the bucket for a moment before he smiles brightly and claps his hands together. I wince as the loud noise echoes across the tent. "Oh, well," he says. "The show must go on, yes?" He doesn't wait for an answer and spins in place to introduce another performer. "Let's welcome our Electric Lady!" he calls, and a mysterious woman walks on stage, dragging a wagon with six coils behind her.

All of her equipment is bloody and so is she. As is every performer following.

…

"They're giving away autographs," Cecil exclaims excitedly, and before I can protest, he drags Lou and I off.

I wrench my hand from his grasp. "I don't want to talk to them!" I yell, and I attract some attention, but for the most part people ignore the three of us.

"Why not?" Lou sounds confused. "They put on a truly incredible show, Will."

I look at her, and she seems genuine in her confusion. "They killed three people, Lou," I say slowly, a crease between my eyebrows.

Cecil and Lou rear back. "What on earth are you talking about, Will?" Cecil demands, sounding angry.

I shake my head and take a step back. "You were there," I defend, worry winding around my heart. "You saw them. You saw how heartless they were. How bloody it all was."

"Are you okay?" Lou questions, reaching for me, "It's not because of you-know-who, is it?" she checks.

I shake my head and pull away from her. They don't remember. I wrack my brain but I have no idea how they can't remember that. I take a few more steps back and Cecil starts to look concerned too, and it's too much. I turn away from them and start running.

…

The circus had a fence surrounding it and its associated carnival, and I climb over it and take off. There's a park not far from here, I know. I race towards it, feeling the wind whistling in my ears and through my too-long blond hair.

 _They don't remember. They don't remember. They don't remember._

How do they not remember?

I burst into the park and startle some pigeons, before collapsing on a bench and leaning my head on the cold armrest. I bite my lip and scratch angrily at my face, running shaking fingers through my hair.

"Will," a voice says, and a figure sits down next to me.

I look up and to my right. I meet the solemn eyes of Nico di Angelo and I let out a yelp. "You stay away from me!" I yell, backing away. My back hits a tree and Nico walks up to me, hands in the pockets of his aviator jacket, chains on his belt clicking softly against his leg. "Stay away!" I repeat, and Nico shakes his head.

There's no sign of anything having to do with a circus.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," Nico says quietly, and I freeze. Nico takes another step toward me, and he reaches out. I watch his face carefully and he watches me before he lays his cold, thin fingers on my cheek. He runs his thumb over my cheekbone and sighs sadly. "I wish you could've forgotten, but…"

He drops his hand.

I trace my eyes over every shadow of his face, over his torn, busted lips, the fading bruise on his cheek, they way his nose isn't as straight as it used to be, like it was broken a long time ago, the dark circles under his eyes. I reach up and swipe my finger under his bottom eyelashes before I can talk myself out of it, and it's his turn to freeze, watching me carefully as I draw back. "Eyeliner," I say, and show him. He swears softly and scrubs it off.

We stand in an uncomfortable silence for a moment before I break it. "But what?" I ask, and he gives me a strange look.

"Huh?"

"You said you wanted me to forget, but, and you never finished your sentence," I explain.

He sighs and takes my hand, twining our fingers together. He stares at my hand, before he sighs again and leads me back to the bench. I sit down lightly and he lays his head down in my lap.

It's almost like it used to be, except we're on a bench on the edge of New York City in the falling snow and not on a beach on the edge of Long Island in the summer heat under a sunset. It's just as quietly romantic, though, in an entirely different way and I think that's why I don't push him away. I run my free hand through his hair and he starts to cry. "Shhh," I whisper, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his hair, my heart breaking.

"I never wanted to leave you," he whispers through his soft cries, and I bite my lip.

A moment passes and I run my thumb over a new piercing in the cartilage of Nico's ear, before I ask the big question- "Then why did you?"

"It was a siren call," he answers. "She wanted me to save her and when I couldn't she trapped me in a traveling circus that hasn't let me go since the day I buried her."

That isn't the answer I was expecting, nor is it as helpful as I had hoped it would be. I frown and open my mouth to demand a better answer when he sits up and presses his index finger to my mouth. "Quiet," he hisses, sounding alarmed. I fall silent and he shifts, leaning closer to me. I wrap my arm around his waist and pull him closer, which he allows. I press my hand to the pale skin that he revealed when his shirt rode up and trace patterns into his side. He ignores me for the most part, except he squeezes my hand too tight and I have to wonder where the brave Son of Hades has gone, to be replaced with this frightened young adult.

"Who's there?" he calls suddenly, and the tree branches above us rustle. We look up and I let out a screech of fright when I meet violet eyes surrounded by gold and red make-up. Nico lets out another sigh, this time of exasperation, "Bebe."

She turns her gaze to Nico and drops from the tree. Instead of a bloody circus outfit, like I had expected, she's wearing jeans and a _Panic! At The Disco_ t-shirt. She has no shoes on.

"You're alive," I blurt, and Bebe looks at me like I'm stupid.

"Obviously…?" She draws the word out, and Nico reaches out and slaps her upside the head. "Hey!" she shouts, hopping out of his reach.

"He remembers the truth," Nico says, and Bebe drops her hands and looks at me with a new light in her eyes.

"Does he now?" she purrs, leaning toward me. I lean back, and she laughs. "Who is he?"

"My boyfriend," Nico spits, and my head snaps to the side so I can glare at him because _how dare he_ \- "William. Now get out of here. I haven't seen him in a while."

She giggles absurdly and winks. "Ahh, I get it, you're busy. Just be back before the next show, Neeks!" she calls as she flounces away. Nico snarls after her and she laughs.

"Don't call me that!" Nico shouts, and her laughter echoes through the park long after she's out of sight.

As soon as she's gone, I rip my hand from Nico's and stand up. Nico looks like he's just been stabbed, reaching out for me, but I slap his hand away. "I'm not your boyfriend," I snap, angry and hurt, "I'm nothing to you! You leave me alone, stay away!" I yell, stepping away as Nico stands up, too.

"Will, Will, please," Nico pleads, and I shake my head, "I would like to be your boyfriend. You're all I've thought about for six and half years now. Please. Hear me out. I need your help, and then I'm yours to do with as you please. If I've hurt you too badly, I understand, but please. Help me escape from them. From her."

I open my mouth to tell him off, but then my cell starts ringing in my pocket. Nico furrows his eyebrows and opens his mouth, but I hold up a finger. "Hello?" I say into the receiver, and Simon responds.

"Are you busy?" he demands.

I shake my head and plug my other ear with my finger as I turn away. "Not at all. Why? What's wrong?" I don't know how much more worry and upset I can take tonight.

"Adam won't shut up about ice cream and I don't know what to do because I want to sleep and Mom and Dad won't take him out. If I put him on the phone can you tell him you'll take him tomorrow even if you lie?" Simon grits out.

I snicker under my breath as the tightness in my chest evaporates. At least it's nothing serious. "Yeah, I can do that, kiddo. I'll bring you, too, how's that?"

Simon suddenly sounds excited. "Really?" he gasps out.

"Yeah, really," I promise.

"Awesome!" Simon yells, and cuts off the phone call.

I stare at it before I laugh quietly and stuff it back in my pocket.

"Don't those things attract monsters?"

I turn back to Nico, already annoyed again. "With so many young demigods having these things, it became quite impossible for monsters to pinpoint us, since the sounds waves, we've discovered, mess with their heads."

Nico stares at me, incredulous, and I sigh. "It's easier to blend in, too. Better to keep in touch during fights without looking stupid to the mortals."

"Never mind," Nico huffs, rolling his eyes. He suddenly looks weary, like he's fought a war and was told it wasn't over yet. "Will you help?" he asks, desperation leaking through his words.

I shake my head and try to ignore how his face falls with little success. "I don't know, Nico. I just don't know."

He swallows heavily, his Adam's apple bobbing obviously in his throat. "I, ah. Okay. Okay," he mutters, and turns away. "Goodbye, Will." He looks hopeless.

I close my eyes, count to three, and then call out, "Wait," before I can stop myself. I can't keep myself away from Nico di Angelo no matter how hard I try. I thought I was over him- over what happened… but maybe not. I feel like kicking myself.

Nico turns around.

…

"You did what?" Lou screeches, and I wince, covering my ears.

"I can't believe you!" Cecil says loudly. "You actually spent the night with your ex and didn't have sex? It's blasphemy!"

Lou whips around, her dirty blond and purple hair flying with the force of her turn. I'm surprised she didn't get whiplash. "Don't encourage him, Cecil!" she yells, shaking her finger in his face while she keeps her other hand on her hip, looking like a mother scolding her child for sneaking a cookie. "He spent the night with _Nico di Angelo_!"

"Just yesterday you demanded to know why I didn't make out with him in the grocery store," I remind her, and she lets out a cry, tearing at her hair.

"I did not! I asked why you let him go without getting some answers, but after the circus today, it's clear why he left, so why bother? You have to let the past remain in the past, and Nico di Angelo is about as far in the past as you can get."

"Sometimes the past follows you to your present," I say softly, and all the steam runs out of her, and Lou drops onto the couch next to me with a heavy sigh.

"Yeah, yeah," she huffs. "I know." Then she sits up and grabs my shoulders, forcing me to look her in the eyes. "Just, promise me you won't take this too far," she begs.

I grin stupidly at her. "When do I ever take things too far?" I reply.

She doesn't look reassured, probably remembering our adventurous teenage years where "Taking Things Too Far" was basically our group motto. I smile a bit more genuinely and she sighs, dropping her forehead onto my shoulder. "He's not worth it, remember that," she says.

"I promise."

…

" _Alright, Nico," I said, wiping my bloody hands on my nurse's smock and jerking my head in the direction of the door. "You're free to go."_

 _He looks up. "Really?" he questioned, clearly not believing me. I sighed._

" _Yeah, really. I said three days, didn't I?"_

 _Nico nodded slowly and stood up, brushing his hair back. "Besides," I joked, "if I keep you in here any longer I think Jason might have an aneurysm."_

 _Nico rolled his eyes. "Jason can wait for the next century as far as I'm concerned," he muttered, clearly not meaning for me to hear, but I laughed anyway. Nico looked startled, and I rolled my eyes._

" _Com'on, Death Boy."_

" _Don't call me that," Nico said, but I could tell it was more of a reflex than anything he actually meant._

 _I smirked. "Get going. Lunch is in an hour. No more Underworld-y magic for the next month. And what do you say to a dinner date tomorrow night at seven?"_

 _Nico nodded along absently, waving me off until the actual meaning of my words caught up with him. "Wait- what?" he asked stupidly, and I laughed._

" _I'll pick you up at your cabin," I said, and pushed him out of my infirmary._

 _He stumbled a bit and I turned around, getting ready to clean up the bed where he'd been, when a hand grabbed my shoulder and swung me around. I barely caught sight of Nico's face before our lips met._

 _Nico pulled away quickly, face bright red, but I smiled and pulled him against me before he could bolt. "You don't just kiss a guy and run," I murmured over his mouth before sealing our lips together in a proper kiss. He folded against me with a groan, and I gripped his hips more tightly as I parted his lips. He let me guide him through the kiss, and when I released him, he looked as dizzy and dazed as I felt._

" _You said lunch on the forth day, Solace!" Jason shouted, bursting into the infirmary before freezing in the doorway. Nico looked at him absently and I snickered and pushed the Son of Hades towards his cousin._

" _I keep my promises, Grace. Make sure he eats," I said, and shut the door in their faces._

…

I sit up with a gasp, panting. One month later, Nico di Angelo had disappeared without a trace. I burrow into my sheet and clench my eyes shut, grinding my teeth. It seems like he's destined to haunt me forever.

…

I knock on the door to my mother's house quickly before I stuff my hand back into the pocket of my jacket. It's freezing out.

The door swings open and my mother looks pleasantly surprised to see me. "Will!" she cries, pulling me into the house unceremoniously and shutting the door. She throws her arms around my neck and kisses my cheek. "What are you doing here? I didn't expect you to come home today! I was just making sandwiches for the boys, would you like one? Peanut butter and butter, right?"

She patters around the kitchen and stuffs two sandwiches in my hands before I can tell her no. "Boys!" she calls, and there's the immediate sound of footsteps down the hall before my bothers burst into the kitchen, still in their pajamas. My mom puts her hands on her hips. "I thought I told you to get dressed an hour ago!" she scolds, and Adam shrinks while Simon grins at her with a toothless grin and dives past her to me.

"Will!"

As Simon wraps his arms around my waist, Adam takes notice of me and his face lights up. "Will!" he cries in delight, stumbling a little on the wooden floor in his fluffy socks before careening into me. Mom sighs.

I hug them both and then push them away a little and kneel down to their level. "I can't take you out if you're not dressed, now can I?" I whisper mischievously, and Adam laughs gleefully before bolting back down the hall to get dressed. Simon pouts at me and follows the younger. As soon as they're gone, I sigh and take a bite from my sandwich.

"You're taking them out?" Mom asks, sounding surprised and hesitant.

I nod and stand up. "They want ice cream. Besides, it'll be good for you and Ben to be alone for a day," I snip, brushing past her to the fridge. I pull the apple juice out and set it on the island, kicking the door closed and yanking some paper towels off the roll as I make my way to the cabinet with the glasses. I put my sandwiches on the paper towel and fill my glass with juice. I lean heavily on the island and sigh.

"Sweetheart, Ben's at work. You don't need to snap at me," she says sharply, watching me move through the kitchen. Then she sighs, too. "Will. I know you. You don't agree to take the boys anywhere unless you need an excuse for something. What's going on?"

I shake my head and she walks over, running her hand over my back. "You can tell me anything, sweetheart. I know we haven't been on the best of terms since Simon was born, but you're still my son and I love you."

I close my eyes. I would like to think that I'm thirteen again and it was just Mom and I, living in this house, making cookies and laughing at _America's Funniest Home Videos_ while we dance around the kitchen. The picture comes clearly to my mind, and my mouth works before I can stop myself. "My ex came back to New York," I mutter, and my mother withdraws.

She never did like getting involved with my sexuality.

"Is that good thing?" she asks, measured and distant, and I shrug, and so she lets it go.

She so full of it when she says I can tell her anything.

The boys come bumbling down the hall, bundled up tightly, and I laugh joyously when I see them. Adam beams at me and Simon is practically out the door. Mom stops him and gives them both sandwiches and a kiss on each cheek. "Off with you, now," she says affectionately, "Stay close to your brother, now, and don't do anything I wouldn't approve of."

"Yes, Mom," they chorus, and I grin inwardly as I usher them out the door to my car.

They hop in the back seat and I turn on the engine, pulling out of my mother's driveway. "Ice cream?" I suggest, and my brothers cheer in the back. "I know this great place not far from my summer camp…"

…

Lou is at work and Cecil is asleep when I get back to our apartment. I hang my keys on the hook and lean against the door, my eyes falling closed. I ran a weary hand over my face before I push off the door and head into the kitchen, shaking my head tiredly at the mess that greets me. A full sink of dishes and a table full of unread mail are the most obvious things. It's amazing that we function at all in this place, sometimes.

I work around the mess and find myself a clean bowl in a side cabinet and some left over spaghetti from Hades-knows-when for dinner. It's not moldy, so I figure it must be safe enough, even though I can't remember when we last had Italian of any kind.

I go into the living room and sit on the couch, flipping the television on. There's a football game on, so I shrug inwardly and eat my cold spaghetti. It works for me.

The lights flicker and the television turns to static. I look up, confused, and the light bulb in the lamp next to me explodes in a shower of sparks. "What the hell?" I shriek, dropping my food on the floor. The bowl shatters under my feet and I get red sauce all over the table, the carpet, and my feet. I shake my head in disgust and glare at the lamp.

"William," a voice says.

I jump and swing around. Bebe is standing in front of the stairs leading to the bedrooms, reaching for me. Blood drips from her eyes and her nose. Her clothes are covered in it. She's still not wearing any shoes. There are cuts all over the visible parts of her skin. I feel sick.

"William, help me, please," Bebe begs, and takes a step forward. Her leg collapses beneath her but she doesn't seem to notice, reaching for me still as she bleeds and falls apart in front of me. I'm frozen. I can't seem to make my body work as she puts an icy hand to my cheek and leans forward, her other hand on my arm. "William, please. Please. Help me. Don't let me die." Her eyes darken and she smiles, a grisly look, and purrs, "I'll make it worth your while, baby…"

She seals her lips over mine and that's what jerks me from my daze. "Get off of me!" I snarl. I push her away, ignoring the pain that flares from the places where she releases me, and she looks shocked.

"William?" she begs, confused. Her eye shrivels in its socket and I shiver.

"I go by Will," I snap, finally able to get my head on straight. I reach under the couch cushion for the Celestial bronze blade we keep there and plunge it into her chest. Blood bubbles up over her chin and drips down onto my wrists and down my arms.

"Will…" she says, and trails off. Her body explodes into golden dust.

I fall forward and black out.

…

"I don't know what got to him, actually," a familiar voice says tiredly.

"Well, whatever it was, it sure did a number on him."

"Is he going to be alright?"

"Yeah, I think so. He should be fine. He's Dad's favorite, there's no reason why the hymns shouldn't work."

I huff a laugh. That sounds like Kayla. A cool hand touches my forehead gently. "Will?" someone asks.

"Hmm?" I hum, struggling to sit up. A firm hand pushes me back down and my elbows buckle, sending me crashing into the bed.

"You'll strain yourself. No getting up until that concussion gets better."

"Con…con…cuss…" I mutter, struggling to get my tongue to wrap around the word.

"Yeah, brother dear, a concussion. Don't know what happened to you, wanna tell us?"

I pry my eyes open. The world looks hazy, and I close my eyes again. When I think I might be able to see better, I open them again. After several moments of just blinking, I'm able to make out the figures of Lou Ellen on my right and my little sister Kayla on my left. "Ugh…Wh-what happened?" I groan, turning my gaze on Kayla.

Her eyebrows furrow. "You don't remember?" she sounds concerned.

I strain. Running through my memories takes too much effort, and I huff. Then I recall something… a woman. A woman I know. I blink and struggle for a name, but it eludes me. I don't remember her name.

"Okay, okay, Will, don't hurt yourself," Kayla abolishes, running her hand over my forehead again. "We don't want you here any longer than necessary," she finishes. "Here." Her arm snakes under my shoulders and lifts me slightly so that I can reach the nectar Kayla puts to my lips. I drink slowly and she smiles at me. "There we go."

"Where am I?" I ask, now that I'm more awake. My head starts pounding and I groan, trying to lift my arm to press my hand to my temple. My limp doesn't obey my instruction, though, and I look to find it covered in bandages. I furrow my eyebrows. "What…?" I hiss.

"That's what we're wondering," Lou says, a note of exasperation and concern coloring her voice. "Cecil found you on the floor in front of the couch covered in blood and gold dust. We brought you straight to Camp for treatment. You've been out for three days."

The words send a jolt of surprise through me. Three days?

Kayla pats my uninjured arm. "Don't worry about it. Just thank the gods that the semester ended the other day," she assures.

I shake my head slowly and lean back against the pillow. My eyelids flutter and my vision blurs. Kayla brushes her hand over my forehead and through my hair. "Rest," she murmurs. "We'll figure out what happened later."

I close my eyes.

…

 _"William… William help me…"_

 _I open my eyes. I'm in an abandoned cabin._

 _The cobwebs make me cough and the bloodstains on the walls and the floor make me want to be sick. I look around, moving forward. The floorboards creak below me and I wince. "William…"_

 _I jolt and swing around. She's held to the wall by six short swords, her head snapped to one side and her arms dangling uselessly by her side. The amount of blood coating her fragile body causes bile to come up my throat but I swallow it down, my hand fluttering over my neck._

" _Will! Get away from her!"_

 _Hands grab me from behind as she dislodges from the wall and rushes at me, in pieces. I face my second attacker and meet Nico's wild, scared eyes. "Will!" he cries, tugging on my arm. "I won't let her trap you too!"_

 _I follow Nico._

 _He leads me out the door and into the cold, and the door slams in her face behind us. Nico doesn't stop. His hands are gripping mine tight enough to bruise, but I grip his back just as tightly._

 _We run for what seems like hours before we happen upon a tent. Nico tugs me inside._

 _And then he vanishes. The woman is in one piece, staring at me affectionately from a pedestal. She's holding tight to a parasol that matches her elegant circus costume. She winks. "I said I'd make it worth your while, didn't I, William, dear?"_

 _She gestures to a cage that wasn't there a moment ago, and I peer inside. Nico is standing naked inside, staring back at me with dead eyes. I pull away and face her again._

" _And I told you I go by Will," I say softly._

 _Her face morphs into the dead girl I saw hanging in the cabin. "Help me! I don't care what your name is! Help me get free!"_

 _She rushes at me with the parasol, and I lean back, my hands up to protect my head, but the blow never comes._

 _I jolt awake in the infirmary at Camp Half-Blood._

…

"Will?" a whisper.

I groan. "I'm okay…" I mutter, pushing myself up with my good arm. I blink blearily in the darkness. Nico is standing next to my bed, arms wrapped around himself, looking at me with quiet despair. I reach out and touch his arm, "What's going on?" I ask.

His eyelashes flutter and he sighs. "You called my name," he says instead of answering.

"I did?"

He nods.

I frown and shake my head slowly. "No… I don't believe I did." _Not even in my dream._

He blinks slowly. "Never mind then," he mutters, looking down. Then he snaps his gaze to meet mine and looks very intense. "You said you'd help. There's only one day left before the circus leaves New York."

Of course. One day left. How could I forget that?

"What do you want me to do?" I ask tiredly. I wish I could just stay in bed.

He leans forward.

…

Bebe is swinging from the trapeze when I walk into the tent. There's a net below her, and I stare up at her for several minutes before she realizes I'm there. In her apparent surprise, she misses the bar and falls. She hits the net with a shriek and bounces onto the dirt to roll at my feet. "Bebe," I greet.

She groans. "William," she mutters in return, hefting herself up. She sits on the ground and stares up at me, an odd look on her face. "What do you want?"

I shrug, stuffing my hands into the pocket of my jacket. "I heard from Nico that your sister died on this day, so I figured I'd give my condolences."

Her eyes narrow as she stands. She gives me a weighted look before she smiles, sadly. "Thank you, dear." She turns to leave.

"Have you been to the grave?" I shout after her. She freezes.

"I'd be happy to go with you," I continue, hating the words coming from my mouth. I don't usually urge people to see gravesites. I still haven't gone to Michael's or Lee's, after all… "If you need the company."

Bebe turns to face me slowly, eyes narrowed. She opens her mouth and Nico comes up behind her, wrapping his arms around her neck. She tenses up and claws at his hands.

I move forward and stand right in front of her. "Even if you don't, we'll take you to see her anyway," I mutter, brushing her hair away from her face. She collapses in Nico's arms, and he drops her like a stone.

…

"You're sure this will work?" I check, and Nico nods.

"My powers haven't worked properly since she kidnapped me, but I should be able to do this much now that she can't chase me away," he says, leaning on the shovel. He presses it into the ground and pulls up another chunk of dirt and tossing it into the pile behind him. He dives in again and the shovel makes a ringing noise. Nico glances up at me with wide, hopeful eyes.

I drop Bebe's unconscious body and jump into the grave with Nico and help him get to the corpse in the coffin. We break through the fragile wood and I suck in a sharp breath.

Six stab wounds and an obviously broken neck. Her ghost has been haunting my nightmares. I send a prayer up to the gods for strength and take Nico's hands as soon as Bebe's spirit is dropped onto her corpse.

Nico starts a soft chant in Ancient Greek, and I feel a tug in my gut. He's drawing my strength for the spell to send her to the Underworld, and it probably wasn't the best idea with a concussion and a torn up arm, but…

Bebe starts to fade before my eyes. Nico releases one of my hands and I reach up and grab the Happy Meal he and I ordered from McDonald's on the way over to the graveyard. I pour it over the coffin and the corpse immediately lights up in green flames.

I wince from the light but Nico holds tighter to my hands as his voice reaches a crescendo. He finishes the spell with a flourish and Bebe screams. He spirit vanishes in a puff of smoke and Nico collapses.

…

 _"Will? Is Nico with you?"_

 _I glanced up. Jason stood in the doorway to the infirmary, trying and failing to look unconcerned. I frowned, straightening. "I haven't seen him all day. Why?"_

 _Jason bites his lip. "Well…"_

 _Worry stabbed through my chest and I dropped the scalpel I had been cleaning onto the floor with a clatter. "I'm his boyfriend, Grace- what's going on?" I demanded._

 _The Son of Jupiter winced and held up his hands in a gesture of peace. "It's just… no one else has seen him today, either. Or yesterday."_

" _He didn't just leave, did he?" I asked harshly, fear settling in alongside the worry. I thought I had talked him out of leaving._

 _Jason shrugged helplessly. "I don't know where he's gone, but his cabin is empty and there was no sign of a struggle." He sighed and sat down heavily in a nearby chair. "It certainly looks like he left. Chiron isn't concerned, but he never really is over Nico because of how often he used to just disappear for days, weeks…"_

 _He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "Percy and the others are looking, but since Chiron isn't worried yet, there's no official search parties."_

 _I stumbled back and my knees hit the bed behind me._

 _My world fell apart around me._

…

"Where have you been?" Lou shrieks, sounding furious.

I roll over in the infirmary bed and ignore her pointedly. She lets out a noise that sounds like a scream combined with a groan and rips the sheets away from me. "We've been worried sick!" she shouts. "What is wrong with you? Where did you go?"

"Oh, let him be," Cecil groans from the chair next to me. "You'll kill our eardrums if you keep on. I can't imagine how poor Will feels, with that concussion of his."

Lou tears harshly at her hair and kicks the bed stand before dropping into the other chair next to Cecil. She points at me and grinds out, "You are in _so_ much trouble."

"For what? Sneaking out? I do that all the time," Cecil defends me, and in doing so, he invokes the wrath of Lou Ellen, Daughter of Hecate. She rounds on him and starts cussing him out for the millionth time since I introduced them to each other. I sigh inwardly and close my eyes, exhausted from helping Nico and then listening to Kayla's griping earlier this morning and now these two.

It seems like the Fates want to punish me for something. I don't know what it is, but by the gods, I'm _sorry_.

A knock on the door interrupts them and Percy Jackson pokes his head in. I lift my head up and stare at him inquisitively while Lou and Cecil freeze. Percy raises his eyebrows at them and then looks at me. "Kayla says you're free to go. I need to talk to you anyway," he says, and I leap out the bed and bolt past my friends to meet Percy at the door. He laughs at me. "I don't think you've ever been to happy to see me before."

"You've never rescued me from hell before," I shoot back as the infirmary door swings shut behind us. Percy laughs loudly and claps me on the back, making me stumble. He doesn't notice.

He leads me to the beach and faces me with a serious look on his face. "I wanted to thank you on behalf of myself and everyone else," he tells me seriously. By everyone else, I know he means the large collection of people who care about Nico, who I had returned here last night before going back to the infirmary. I nod at Percy, who continues. "It's been a long time since my cousin disappeared, but you brought him back, so thank you."

"No problem," I return, shrugging.

I turn to leave after a second passes with nothing more than a steady look from Percy to make me uncomfortable, but he grabs my shoulder and spins me back around. I yelp.

"I know you're mad that Nico left in the first place," he says, "but he told us everything last night. Don't be too harsh on him- it sounded like he didn't have much of a choice. You make him happy and a blind man could see that he makes you happy too. I don't know much about this kind of thing- Annabeth and I never had this problem- but I would give Nico another chance."

"Who are you and what have you done with Percy?" I ask seriously, and Percy smiles.

"I grew up a bit at collage," he says, shrugging. "Learned some lessons. Here's one I'm giving you- don't let the past effect your present too much."

And with that, Percy clapped me on the shoulder again and left me standing on the beach.

…

Truthfully, it's a bit of a shock that Percy recognized that I'm still angry with Nico.

I walk along the edge of the water, stepping on the frost along the edges just for something to do. I shiver as a breeze blows over the beach, sending the smell of salt with it, and I breathe it in.

"Thanks for helping me."

I don't turn around, for once. I know Nico is standing there. I haven't decided if I want to talk to him yet.

Six years of heartbreak because he followed after a siren call. I just can't believe he didn't think.

"Will?"

"What?" I ask softly, glancing at him. He looks tired, which isn't any surprise.

"I- ah…" He trailed off, looking guilty as he looks away from me, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His shoulders hunch forward and he's shivering in the cold. My heart softens against my will. It's not fair, the effect he has on me.

"What is it, Nico?" I question, the words coming out harsher than I intended. He folds in on himself a little more and I close my eyes.

"Jason and Piper wanted to know if you'd join everyone for their New Year's party at this Chinese place on 67th street," he says, and even though I know that's not what he wanted to say, I shrug and let it go.

"Sure," I agree, and I hear Nico sigh next to me.

"Okay," he says, the cheer in his voice obviously forced. He walks away, muttering to himself, and I reopen my eyes.

The sun sets golden on the horizon.

…

"Are you ready, Will?" Cecil calls through my door.

"Almost," I return, and pull my tie through the knot.

I stare at myself in the mirror, at the simple white button down and the plaid tie I'm wearing, and sigh. I shake my head and run my fingers through my hair, scolding myself for over thinking this. I've known these people for most of my life. There's no need to be over thinking anything- they're not going to care.

But Nico's going to be there.

I growl to myself and wrench open my door, much to Cecil's shock. He rears back, eyes wide and hands up. "Hades, Will, calm down!" he says defensively, and I wave him off, heading down the stairs.

Lou turns around as soon as I make it down. "Finally," she huffs, picking up a silk scarf from the coffee table and tying it around her neck. "We're going to be late, and you know how Pipes is about lateness," she tells us, rolling her eyes as Cecil slips on the stairs.

He and I exchange glances and Cecil rolls his eyes.

Not long after, the three of us are piled in my car and we're pulling into the lot at the restaurant Jason told me we were meeting at. I turn off the engine and we get out of the car, walking inside.

We spot the others instantly, and make our way over.

…

Dinner itself was a quiet affair- as quiet as it could be with Jason and Percy at the same table, anyway. Nico and I hardly exchanged a word the whole time.

It seems as though he isn't going to let me get away with that, though.

We had eventually migrated to Jason and Piper's house, and it's currently two minutes until midnight. Percy and Annabeth are standing in the kitchen, talking quietly. Jason and Piper are on their couch, so close they're practically the same person. Leo and Calypso are on the other side of the couch, getting a head start on the kissing at midnight tradition. Hazel and Frank are at the table.

I'm standing alone, nursing a beer, in the doorway to the living room.

The clock starts ticking down at a minute and Nico comes out of nowhere to push me against the wall. I drop my drink in my surprise and it splatters all over the floor, but everyone is too busy counting to notice. "I'm sorry about everything," Nico mutters in a rush, eyes searching mine desperately. "I'm still in love with you," he says.

The clock hits midnight and I wrap my hand around the back of Nico's neck and seal our lips together.

I shouldn't. Gods know, I shouldn't. But I can't help myself.

I open my eyes slightly and stare out the window over Nico's shoulder as he relaxes fully into the kiss, and meet the eyes of Bebe through the reflective glass. She raises a martini glass and winks, her glittered eyes colored like a peacock feather, before she vanishes into the night.

My heart races, but I push it out of my mind. I understand how she could've tempted Nico now- he really didn't have a choice.

How many kisses did we share where he looked past me into her eyes?

I let my eyes fall closed and pry Nico's lips open with my tongue as I pull his hips to meet mine.

When we separate, I whisper, "I'm still in love with you, too," against his mouth, truer words never leaving my lips. I'm so mad at myself for it, but it's true. He pants against my lips and I let us breathe for a second before I cradle his face and kiss him again, finally coming home.

Love is blind. Blind to past heartbreak, blind to pain. It doesn't matter. I know that now.


End file.
